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Edmunds takes new Ram for long-term tests

Posted Tuesday, Jul 7, 2009, 10:37 am in Employee News

Writer Daniel Pund of noted that at the press introduction of the 2009 Ford F-150, one Ford employee derided the also-new-for-2009 Dodge Ram as a “coffee-shop truck.” “This was meant to imply that, unlike the beefy Ford, the Dodge was, you know, a sissy truck,” Pund said.

To which Pund said, “we, the proud possessors of a brand-spanking-new Inferno Red 2009 Dodge Ram 1500 Laramie Crew 4×4, say, ‘Hell yes, it’s a coffee shop truck.’ We plan in the next year to frequent a whole slew of coffee houses in our monster-size, chrome-slathered, coil-spring-having Ram. We also will commute in this HEMI®-powered beast. We will drive it across the country. We will tow vintage cars and motorcycles with it. We will pay for a whole lot of gasoline. We will load it with children, adults, adults who act like children, mulch, bed frames, statuary … whatever. We might even do some light off-roading in it. And you know what? Our bare hands will be kept warm and toasty the whole time thanks to the optional heated steering wheel.”

Pund concluded by saying, “We will, in this year, endeavor to answer questions such as: Should I pay all that money for the RamBox™? Will we be able to keep the miles-per-gallon readings solidly in the double digits? Is there any real reason for this thing to be so hulking that the top of its hood is shoulder-high on a tall guy? Can our shortest staffer climb into the cabin without a step stool? How long before a staffer takes a picture of the Ram next to our Smart car? And, finally, could Dodge have possibly found space for any more ram-head logos?”

Stay tunded to Pund’s long-term blogs for the next 12 months as he aims to put 20,000 miles on this all-new Dodge Ram.
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